Posts Tagged ‘funny’
You caught me guys. This column is really just an excuse to talk about my favorite movies and television shows. I admit it. But I think you’ll allow it once again since Pee Wee’s Big Adventure is one of the best films ever made. I have a degree in Film and Video so I think I’m more than qualified to be handing out such judgements (speaking of film school, imagine four years of me reciting the lines “I’VE BEEN READY SINCE FIRST CALL. ROLL!” whenever someone asked if we were ready for a take).
Seriously, I can watch this movie over and over again and it still makes me cry with laughter. I couldn’t tell you my favorite line or scene but I know basically every word of the script. (Apologies to anyone who’s had to watch it with me.) Okay, maybe the part where the pancakes say, “Can I have the Mr. T cereal?” is my favorite. Or, “Yes, that’s me. I am Chuck.” And I challenge you to offer a more important moment in cinematic history than the Tequila dance.
But today I’m here to talk to you about a piece of knitwear. Because I haven’t forgotten that there’s a point to this. Let’s talk about this disguise Pee Wee puts on to fool the law. (THE LAW!) This crazy house coat/jacket thing is AMAZING. Rendered in seafoam green mohair (I can only imagine), with a big moss stitch pattern and even bigger bobbles and that Peter Pan collar. I love it.
Why don’t you take a picture? It’ll last longer! Not sure I’d add this to my fangirl knits list because it’s pretty hideous and I mean that in the best way possible. I am a big fan, though. So is that cop. Big ups to costume designer Aggie Guerard Rodgers for this fantastic piece.
Do you love Pee Wee’s Big Adventure? I know you are, but what am I?
ps. Don’t forget to check out my Michelle collar KAL!
Welcome to May! Let’s get you over the hump, shall we?
When my LYS is doing summer hours, I’m all like:
When my boyfriend complains that something I made him doesn’t fit right, I’m like
The first time I looked at a lace chart, I was like
When I teach someone how to knit
That’s all, folks! Stay tuned because actual informative things are coming up later in the week!
It’s been a pretty rough week and I think we all could use a laugh.
My friend Jawann is a comedian (come to his show!) and he’s always sharing great sketches. My favorite one so far is the video below. This series by comedian Veronica Osorio will teach you how to make super useful things like salt shakers for sugar and pants for plants.
It’s hilarious. It’s clearly poking fun at crafting but I don’t take anything seriously. And if you’re taking crafting too seriously, YOU’RE DOING IT WRONG. Besides, we’ve all seen some pretty ugly and useless DIYs on Pinterest at some point. As she says, “Crafting is making brand new things that already exist just for fun!”
Anyway, if you’re a returning reader to this blog, this will make you laugh because it made me laugh and sometimes, I hear, I make you guys laugh. I certainly make myself laugh so this is right up my/your alley.
As always, hang in there and happy knitting!
Passover is beginning soon. Are you getting prepared? It’s one of the most important Jewish holidays and it’s one of my favorites for these reasons: a) the story is epic, b) the Rugrats made a really good holiday episode, c) you’re supposed to drink a lot (like, a lot, guys), and d) it’s supposed to be very personal. It’s the story of how our ancestors escaped slavery in Egypt. And when I was a kid, I wanted to be an Egyptologist so the whole Jews building pyramids thing was pretty exciting.
Here’s the story of Passover and my ancestors (I imagine they look like me but with way more epic eye make up).
We were slaves in Egypt. It sucked. Moses came and was all, LET MY PEOPLE GO which is probably the best catchphrase ever. The Pharaoh was all like, “No Way, Jose.” Then the ten plagues happened, yadda yadda yadda.
When the Pharaoh told the Israelites that they were free to leave Egypt, they left as fast as they could. They knew he was kind of a fickle bitch and was constantly changing his mind. Like, one day he would be like, “Guys, this is where I the pyramid should go,” and then halfway through building it, he’d be all, “I think it would actually look better over there. Don’t you think it’d look better over there?” And then they’d have to go and start all over again.
So when the Jews were freed, they hauled ass out of there. They packed up so quickly, they didn’t even wait for their bread dough to rise! That’s why we eat matzah. (Don’t have any idea what the geflite fish is all about. Don’t ask.) My ancestors packed up so quickly that they didn’t even wait to finish all of their WIPs! They just took whatever stash yarn they could carry and GTFO. Moses was all like, “Um, I don’t think you’re going to need a scarf in the desert” but they were all like, “It’s not a scarf, it’s a 10 Commandments cozy. By the way, did anyone pack stitch markers? I left all of my notions in Egypt.”
Then, the whole Egyptian army showed up because the Pharaoh had changed his mind (so predictable, this guy!) and so they were all like chasing the Jews to the sea. My ancestors were like, “Oh crap, I don’t think salt water is very good for wool.” But Moses was all, “Guys, don’t worry. I have a plan.” And, guess what. He OPENED UP THE SEA so everyone would just walk across. I know, crazy right? And when they got to the other side, all of the Egyptians drowned and the day was saved.
And somebody was like, “Hey did anybody bring a map?” and my ancestors were like, “I have a pattern for a nemes. Would that help?” And Moses was all like “OMG WE’RE GONA BE IN THIS DESERT FOREVS.”
Anyway, the point of this story is that, just as we eat unleavened matzahs to commemorate our ancestors time in Egypt, I will knit with matzah-like yarns to commemorate my ancestors who were probably walking around the desert like, “Are we there yet? I’m hot. Golden donkey? How about a golden sheep? Maybe it can send more yarn.”
This unleavened yarn will probably make you a lot less constipated than matzah.
ps. If you stuck it out and read this whole story, you’re a real champ. It was ridiculous but I made myself laugh.
It’s already turning out to be a rough week. I’ve spent a few too many nights building Ikea furniture. (I really can’t stop myself when I go to Ikea.) Anyway, since there’s not much to report on my knitting front (still working on that damn faire isle sweater), let’s just have a laugh.
If you haven’t seen this video of goats yelling like humans, do so now. God I love goats. If you liked that, you’ll love this:
Okay, I promise there will be actual posts about actual things this week. Stay tuned. I’m going to go drink some tea.
ps. Check it out, I was featured in Kollabora’s Meet the Maker profile!